


But We’re Safe Here Under the Sheets

by MS_Mayhem



Category: Alex Rider - Anthony Horowitz
Genre: Alex Rider Gets a Hug, But like implied angst, Comfort No Hurt, Fluff, Found Family, Gen, Implied Nesting, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Only a tiny but, Sharing a Bed, Short & Sweet, Therapy, Watching Someone Sleep, Yassen Gregorovich is a Simp, a tiny bit of angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-11
Updated: 2021-03-11
Packaged: 2021-03-18 06:02:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,297
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29978475
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MS_Mayhem/pseuds/MS_Mayhem
Summary: Sleep was an Issue, but one Alex did not need to face alone.
Relationships: Ben "Fox" Daniels & Alex Rider, Yassen Gregorovich/Alex Rider
Comments: 2
Kudos: 22





	But We’re Safe Here Under the Sheets

**Author's Note:**

> Title from girl in red.  
> Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction using character from the Alex Rider series, which belongs to Anthony Horowitz. I do not claim ownership over the characters or the world of Alex Rider.
> 
> Hope you enjoy this!!

After spending most of his teen years getting thrown from one traumatic event to the next, sleeping was difficult for Alex. When he was sixteen his nightmares were so bad that he was afraid of sleep. One particularly harrowing night, Ben Daniels -- who had become his legal guardian and housemate since Jack’s passing -- suggested he go to bed. Alex had a panic attack.

That was when Ben brought up the idea of sleeping pills. 

The psychotherapist was a middle aged woman, with the qualifications of both a psychiatrist and a psychologist, enabling her to combine speech therapy with the use of medication without the complications that came when two different mental health professionals were involved. It was due to this exact reason that she was employed by the MI6 to offer counselling to their agents. 

“How are you feeling today, Alex?” Doctor Tillman -- or Joanna as she allowed him to call her -- opened their session.

“I’m alright.” Alex said instinctively, before hesitantly correcting. “I’ve… been better.”

“Do you want to talk about it?” Joanna nodded, legs crossed in the large armchair across from him. 

“I still can’t sleep.” He started, picking at his already raw cuticles, “I had a panic attack last night. Ben is _really_ worried, and I suppose I am too.”

“Did the panic attack just happen? Or can you pinpoint a cause?” Joanna noted something down on the clipboard balanced on her knee.

“Ben suggested I try to get some sleep. I don’t know, I just-” He scratched at his forearm, leaving harsh red lines, which he quickly pulled the sleeve of his hoodie over.

Joanna waited for him to continue. He didn’t.

“The idea of sleeping brought on a state of panic?” She offered lightly.

Alex nodded and swallowed.

“Ben said that maybe sleeping pills would help?” Alex changed the topic, he did not want to talk about the details of his panic attack. Joanna did not push. 

“And what do you think about that suggestion?”

“I don’t know.” He took a long moment to form his words. “On one hand, I’m sorta...reluctant? On the other hand, I’m really desperate at this point.”

“Do you know what makes you feel reluctant?” She asked.

Alex shook his head. “Not really, I don’t know. Maybe it’s just the idea of medication at all?”

She nodded, and there was a moment of silence, filled only with the sound of the pen scratching around on paper.

“Well Alex, I will admit, I would be quite hesitant to prescribe you sleeping medication.” She started, putting her pen down. “We have established that the frequent drugging you have gone through is a source of trauma, and the medication might have triggering effects.”

Alex nodded, it was something he had not considered, but he could see her point, and decided that he did not want to take sleeping medication.

“In addition to this, mixing sleeping pills with sedatives or the likes can have dangerous effects.”

“I could die.” Alex cut in.

Joanna paused, as if reluctant to answer, then nodded.

And so, sleeping pills were out of the question.

They had spent a year working on his sleep, trying new tactics and methods that may help with easing the fears and nightmares. Physical sensation and the environment he slept in were big factors.

Alex’s room had turned into something that more resembled a _den,_ and he slept in a thick cocoon of blankets and pillows. He slept with eight blankets -- including two soft faux fur blankets, a colourful quilt that had once belonged to Jack, and a weighted blanket -- and four pillows, though there were more spread throughout his bed, filling up nearly every corner. 

He had a huge teddy bear that Sabina had gotten him from the States that he curled up into, and a little stuffed lion that K-Unit had gotten him when he was shot outside the MI6 headquarters all those years ago. 

There was a thick sheepskin carpet next to his bed, which was moved into a corner and hidden behind a dresser, and the room was never quite dark. The curtains were thin, and there were strings of fairy lights hung throughout the room, dim and warm. 

Silence unnerved him, so ambient sound became common. Alex preferred sounds caused by nature, to the distressingly static sounds of colour noise, rainfall, leaves, and the soft lapping of waves coaxing him to sleep. He also kept the windows open a slit, locked into place. He enjoyed the breeze and the noises of the world outside.

Most nights that both of them were home, Ben would tuck Alex into bed, adjusting the pile of blankets, and stroking Alex’s hair, speaking in a low soothing voice about everything and nothing, until the boy fell asleep. Then he would collect the empty mug of chamomile tea that Alex drank before bed, and sneak out of the room, closing the door behind him softly. 

Sure, their relationship was odd. Alex was nineteen now, but still lived with Ben, who cared for him in an almost paternal way, even if there were only eight years between them. Of course, Ben respected Alex, and would always give him space, and treat him like an adult, but when Alex crawled wordlessly into his arms, Ben would always be there to comfort him.

“You got your lion?” Ben checked, sitting on the edge of the mattress. 

Alex nodded, letting the stuffed animal peek out from the mound of blankets. Ben smiled, and adjusted the corner of the top most blanket -- a heavy thing made of faux fur. 

“Can we read tonight?” Alex asked.

“Of course, cub. I’ll be right back with the book.” Ben assured, slipping out of the room and returning with a copy of Morning Glory. 

Alex had little interest in the book itself, and hardly followed along with the story, but it wasn’t the point, he would fall asleep halfway through the chapter anyway. 

Ben had a love for romance novels, he went through a book a week when he wasn’t busy with work, and Alex liked to hear him read. Despite the strong scouse accent, Ben’s voice was surprisingly soothing -- deep and steady. 

Ben stroked a hand through Alex’s hair before he opened the book and began to read.

Alex was not paying much attention to the story, instead focusing on Ben’s voice and the soft patter of rain against his window. His eyes were closed and his body curled around the little lion he had clutched to his chest. Alex was a side sleeper, he always had been. Sleeping on his back felt stiff, and put an uncomfortable tension onto his face. 

By the time Ben had reached the end of the chapter, Alex was fast asleep. Ben closed the paperback, pressed a kiss to Alex’s temple, and left the room, his socked feet soundless on the motley of thick rugs.

* * *

It was two in the morning, when Yassen Gregorovich scaled the side of the apartment building. The window he was looking for was on the sixth floor, but entering through the apartment door was out of question. 

He could, of course, get through the door with little effort, but the apartment had an open living plan.. Yassen was not keen on running into the other resident of the apartment, and so his plan was to steer clear of the living area.

Yassen disabled the locking mechanism that secured the window in position with deft fingers, and slid inside the room soundlessly, bringing the window back into its previous position.

He looked around curiously.

Despite their one year anniversary coming up, Yassen had never been in the apartment that Alex shared with Ben Daniels, and he was eager to see the space Alex had made his own.

The desk was cluttered, with papers half covering the open laptop, and two empty cans of decaf coke standing discarded on the work surface. The chair had a stack of clothes over the back, and the small trash can was overflowing. 

Yassen studied the pinboard that hung above the desk, and couldn’t help but smile. There were photos of Alex with Ian, or Jack, or his friends, ticket stubs and pamphlets, a braided friendship bracelet that was too frayed to wear, half a dozen medals from sports competitions, and, tucked into the bottom left corner, a photo of John and Helen. 

On the top of the dresser were three miniature cacti in bright planters, a small jewellery box, and a stack of dirty dishes. 

Plants were a theme throughout the room. There were three planters hanging from the ceiling by intricately woven rope, bright green strings of leaves reaching down towards the floor. Devil’s Ivy, Boston Fern, and Arrowhead Vine -- Yassen recognised them in an instant, as he was trained to do. 

Half of a bookshelf was taken over by more plants, each one in a novel planter, a mix of bright colours and patterns and hand painted designs. An African Fig Tree stood in one corner, and, on a shelf above the bed, there was another trinity of plants, this time Lavender, Valerian, and Jasmine -- natural sleeping aids and relaxants. 

Yassen picked up on the groupings of three throughout the room, and he wondered if Alex had noticed his own compulsion. 

Yassen stood over the bed, and stared. Alex was almost completely hidden inside a thick cocoon of blankets and pillows. He was clutching a stuffed animal, and had another one wrapped around him protectively.

Yassen hesitated, not sure if he should wake Alex. He looked relaxed, at peace, and he did not want to disturb the boy. But the only other real option was climbing back out of the room, nobody liked to wake up with a person in the room who had arrived without you noticing, and Yassen wasn’t about to just leave.

As much as he hated to admit it, the truth was he had missed Alex. It was a dangerous thing, of course, their relationship. But Yassen was in too deep now, and he knew he could never push Alex away. And even then, it was too late. Alex was his weakness. 

He knelt down by the mattress, and stroked softly through Alex’s hair.

“Alex, wake up, my love.” Yassen kept his voice quiet, trying not to startle him too much. 

It took a while for Alex to stir, but then Yassen was met by soft brown eyes, blinking with sleep and confusion, followed by a sleepy smile.

“Yassen?” His voice was raspy from dormancy. “What are you doing here?”

“I missed you.” Yassen admitted quietly.

“I missed you too, you old sap.” Alex teased, but scooted ever so slightly over. 

“You gonna join me?” He asked, and Yassen could see a hint of nervousness behind the boy’s eyes.

“Of course, little one.” He reassured, untying his laces, “I would love nothing more.”

He stripped down to his underwear, and climbed underneath the blankets. They were heavy, heavier than Yassen had expected. It would take him a bit to get used to the weight.

Alex curled into him, stuffed lion still under his arm. 

“You’re so cute.” Yassen did not bother with hiding his amusement. He never had to hide his feelings around Alex.

“Am not!” Alex claimed, but the petulance only helped strengthen Yassen’s point, in the man’s opinion. Either way, he could not have an upset (even if only jokingly) Alex, so he quickly calmed him with a scatter of soft kisses over his face, and soft confessions of love.

It took a while for Alex to fall back asleep, but Yassen’s arms were wrapped around him -- warm and strong, and his fingers were playing so gently with his hair that Alex’s eyes started to droop. 

* * *

After getting his four hours of sleep, Yassen spent the rest of the night watching Alex sleep. He felt privileged to be let in on such an intimate and vulnerable moment. 

Alex was relaxed, unable to hide anything. Yassen studied him for a long time. The subtle criss-crossing of scars along his temples from the frequent blows to his head he sustained. The nearly invisible scatter of freckles on the bridge of his nose. A not quite rounded indent on his jaw, just under his ear -- a scar left by the chickenpox he had when he was seven. 

Yassen counted his lashes, long and dark, took note of how the skin around his nose was red, the subtle peach fuzz above his top lip, and along his jaw, the faint acne scars between his brows, scattering over his forehead, the way the hair along his temples grew in a lighter blond, and the small scar underneath his lip from where a mission required him to get his lip pierced. 

To Yassen, every small detail, blemish, and scar was beautiful, and every time he looked at Alex, he would find something new to fall in love with. 

When the sun rose, shining through the thin curtains, it cast Alex in an angelic light, and Yassen felt his heart ache with adoration. He knew they could not stay in bed forever, but until it was time to go, he would enjoy every second he could listen to Alex breathe, curled up into his side.

It was around nine, that Alex woke up, eyes blinking open slowly, his hair a mess, his lips twisting into a sleepy smile. Yassen felt tender with love.

“Good morning, little one.” Yassen nosed along his hairline, and pressed a kiss on his forehead.

“Morning.” Alex scooted closer still, warm and drowsy, and clearly not intending to get out of bed quite yet. Yassen decided that he didn’t mind. They could stay in bed a little longer.

Yassen was not quite sure he ever wanted to leave.

**Author's Note:**

> idk come hang out on twitter if you want (i made it like 2 second ago lol) twitter.com/mayhem_msmayhem


End file.
